To anyone who knows me personally, this is probably a conversation we’ve had together, or you’ve understood it by the lack of empathy I have for children. I’ve never been a big fan of children nor have I ever found them particularly cute, but I feel like it’s gotten even worse in the past year. Seeing a baby makes me more uncomfortable than anything, and I have no idea what to say to a child. I don’t feel like the conversation would be beneficial to anyone, so why bother. I know my sister wants children, and when she has them I’m sure I’ll love them very much, but as soon as they cry or smell, they’re going back to her or my brother-in-law in a heartbeat.
I’d always told my parents that it’s most probable I won’t have children, but I have caught myself wanting some when I was in love. I guess you easily tend to imagine a utopian life for youself and your partner, with a house and kids, where everyone loves eachother unconditionnally. Well, a breakup was my wakeup call to realising it’s not what I want at all.
When I think about raising a child, I wouldn’t want to do anything less than what my parents have done for me and my siblings (I have 2 older brothers and an older sister). My parents have always put us first, and everything they still do today is with us in mind. I feel like it sets the bar very high if I were ever to have any of my own, and honestly it’s not sacrifices I’m willing to make.
Before this summer I was still kind of thinking “Well, we never know maybe if I find the right person to have some with” and then I met up with a friend who had to babysit his niece and nephews for the afternoon. We went to a sort of theme park with one of them (I honestly had a blast) and then it was time to go get the other two from the nursery, and walk them home. That’s when I realised: never will I ever want to do this on a daily basis, once was more than enough.
I see parents’ lives being completely dependant on their child’s, and barely having any time for themselves. Every single decision that is made is for the benefit of the child; and I mean, I find that normal and wouldn’t expect anything less coming from a parent. I just can’t imagine myself being happy with that kind of life.
What I find reassuring is that so many people I know don’t want children either, or if so not before another 10 years, so I don’t feel odd at all for feeling this way. I think it’s a reasonable feeling and decision. One other major element to it, is that I NEVER want to give birth, and by never I mean it is one of my worst nightmares. The simple thought of it makes me want to jump out of my body and run without ever looking back. I just can’t deal with it.
I know some people feel extremely offended when they hear someone does not want children (especially a woman) and I find it ridiculous and kind of funny honestly. A common one is to call us selfish; I mean, really? I don’t see what’s selfish in not wanting a human who doesn’t exist in the first place… it makes no sense. If you want to have one or a dozen children, go for it, but don’t criticise us for not wanting any.
I really respect parents because I can’t begin to imagine how it is to raise one or more mini humans. It must be extremely difficult physically and emotionally, exhausting, and overwhelming. But, from what I’ve been told, it’s totally worth it.
What do you think? Have you never wanted children either or is it your lifelong dream? Maybe you already have some of your own, let me know in the comments!
Lots of love,
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