Hey everyone, welcome back! As the title suggests, today we are going to talk about masturbation, because it’s an important and necessary conversation to have. (Mum, you might want to sit this one out.)
To be completely honest, for a big majority of my life I didn’t know how to masturbate. I’d felt the need to, but would try and repress it by going for a wee (which actually works most of the time). It might sound silly to some, but I’d never been taught how to do it. You are taught how to masturbate when you have a penis, but not really when you have a vagina. The topic was quite taboo growing up as well; I remember having discussions with my female friends around the ages of 13 / 14 years-old, and agreeing on the fact that it was normal and natural for a boy to masturbate, but that it was disgusting for a girl to do so. I don’t remember talking loads about it in the following years, but whenever we did, no girl would admit to it, when more or less all the boys would.
I only started masturbating because a friend actually explained how, and honestly, it’s f*cking awesome.
I think it’s necessary for everyone to know their own body, and especially when you are sexually active. There are the never ending jokes (I mean, they’re mainly true) that men can’t make women orgasm, and I think it is partly due to the fact that women don’t know their own bodies. If we don’t know what’s pleasurable to us, it’s a bit unrealistic to expect someone else to know for us (especially when they don’t have a vagina themselves). Sex is about communication and letting our partner know what we like, in order to make it the best and most pleasurable experience possible. There’s nothing wrong with needing some alone time to test and explore what you like.
I’ll just take a moment to point out that women like sex as much as men do, and are horny as much as men are, because I know quite a few people believe that’s not the case. Well, it is.
Masturbating is healthy and there is nothing shameful about it! We need to talk about it, and teach young girls that it’s okay and normal if they ever want to do it. And of course, it’s also normal if they don’t. Some people don’t feel the need or desire to, and some don’t feel sexual needs as a whole, and that’s okay. It’s all about having a choice.
There’s such a lack of understanding and representation when it comes to female masturbation. I feel like there’s this flawed vision of women masturbating in such a sensual and sexy atmosphere, with scented candles all around and romantic music on. Seriously? Nobody’s got time for that sh*t. As if anything sexual is always necessarily super romantic for women, but then men are off masturbating anywhere and in front of anything at any time. It’s just not true. A man can be romantic and want an ‘atmosphere’, whilst a woman can be super horny and in the need of a quickie. That’s fine, we’re different and not everyone likes the same things.
So, now that you hopefully feel more comfortable with your body and desires, go to your rooms and have some FUN!
Lots of love,
PS: The image is not my own and belongs to the wonderful artist over at Vulvandala. Go check them out and give them a follow!
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