Let’s talk about Masturbation

Hey everyone, welcome back! As the title suggests, today we are going to talk about masturbation, because it’s an important and necessary conversation to have. (Mum, you might want to sit this one out.)
vvTo be completely honest, for a big majority of my life I didn’t know how to masturbate. I’d felt the need to, but would try and repress it by going for a wee (which actually works most of the time). It might sound silly to some, but I’d never been taught how to do it. You are taught how to masturbate when you have a penis, but not really when you have a vagina. The topic was quite taboo growing up as well; I remember having discussions with my female friends around the ages of 13 / 14 years-old, and agreeing on the fact that it was normal and natural for a boy to masturbate, but that it was disgusting for a girl to do so. I don’t remember talking loads about it in the following years, but whenever we did, no girl would admit to it, when more or less all the boys would.

I only started masturbating because a friend actually explained how, and honestly, it’s f*cking awesome.

I think it’s necessary for everyone to know their own body, and especially when you are sexually active. There are the never ending jokes (I mean, they’re mainly true) that men can’t make women orgasm, and I think it is partly due to the fact that women don’t know their own bodies. If we don’t know what’s pleasurable to us, it’s a bit unrealistic to expect someone else to know for us (especially when they don’t have a vagina themselves). Sex is about communication and letting our partner know what we like, in order to make it the best and most pleasurable experience possible. There’s nothing wrong with needing some alone time to test and explore what you like.

I’ll just take a moment to point out that women like sex as much as men do, and are horny as much as men are, because I know quite a few people believe that’s not the case. Well, it is.

Masturbating is healthy and there is nothing shameful about it! We need to talk about it, and teach young girls that it’s okay and normal if they ever want to do it. And of course, it’s also normal if they don’t. Some people don’t feel the need or desire to, and some  don’t feel sexual needs as a whole, and that’s okay. It’s all about having a choice. 

There’s such a lack of understanding and representation when it comes to female masturbation. I feel like there’s this flawed vision of women masturbating in such a sensual and sexy atmosphere, with scented candles all around and romantic music on. Seriously? Nobody’s got time for that sh*t. As if anything sexual is always necessarily super romantic for women, but then men are off masturbating anywhere and in front of anything at any time. It’s just not true. A man can be romantic and want an ‘atmosphere’, whilst a woman can be super horny and in the need of a quickie. That’s fine, we’re different and not everyone likes the same things.

So, now that you hopefully feel more comfortable with your body and desires, go to your rooms and have some FUN!

Lots of love,

Eleonore.

PS: The image is not my own and belongs to the wonderful artist over at Vulvandala. Go check them out and give them a follow!

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35 thoughts on “Let’s talk about Masturbation

  1. Hey, I really like that you’ve done a post like this. What you are saying is so true and I wish I knew more about it when I was younger cause it was always seen as something girls shouldn’t do but if fine for guys when that just isn’t the case.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This post is everything. Masturbating was soooo taboo for women growing up. I want to act like I’ve been doing it forever but I literally only starting a couple years ago and I was like I’m going to try this but I think it’s gross. Boy, was I wrong. On top of that, can you guess when I started orgasming during sex? Shortly after I started masturbating. It’s about time women talk about this openly and teach girls that getting to know their bodies and their likes it’s viral and NOT GROSS. Thanks for this post!!!

    Abby
    ❤️ Mylifelines.co

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m so glad you managed to find what you like and it improved your sex life ! We definitely need to talk about it more, and I hope that little by little girls will feel less ashamed and know that it’s completely normal! X

      Like

  3. I love this post. Not to get too personal, but I started very young (15) and all my friends thought it was disgusting and I never talked about it out loud. I read things online that it’s normal and didn’t feel ashamed but just didn’t have anyone to talk about it with. It’s completely normal and I’m glad you’re talking about it x

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I’m so glad you posted this!! It was such a taboo subject when I was a teen, and it still is. There’s nothing wrong with masturbating, if men can do it why can’t women?! And also, it is such a great way to get to know your body and what you like when your having sex.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I’m glad you’ve written about this, and so honestly. It was always a taboo subject when I was a teen – I masturbated but would definitely have never discussed it with any of my friends!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. As I’ve gotten older and unlearned the lessons that induced shame, I realized how wonderful and powerful it was to be in control of my own body. Your post definitely captures the sisterhood that exists between women, especially in candid conversations about sex and pleasure. What a great piece! Reading it felt like we were talking.

    Liked by 1 person

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