Hello everyone, welcome (or welcome back!)
I’ve been meaning to start a series on here for a little while, without ever quite finding the time or the right moment. But the start of Pride month seems pretty perfect! So basically, this LGBTQ+ visibility series is about just that- visibility! It’s to share people’s experiences, and give them the opportunity to share whatever it is they want about who they are and their identity. This first post is – as the title suggests – about being bi.
A big thank you to the lovely people who have taken the time to write a little something!
“I’ve already shared a little bit about my experience with being bi and my coming out. I think what’s important to remember is that there isn’t one way to be bi, there isn’t just one definition, and it’s a different experience for everyone: but all valid nonetheless. Being bi means feeling romantic and/or sexual attraction to your own and other genders. It doesn’t mean that my attraction for all genders is the same; I feel differently about different people, and that’s normal and okay. I understand that not everyone feels the need to label their sexuality, but for those who do and who identify as bi, know that you are worthy of love and acceptance, just like everybody else. Whether you are out, still figuring it out or still keeping it a secret, there is a community which loves and supports you.”
“Up until I was about 16 or 17, I thought since I was attracted to boys it meant I was straight. I started questioning my ‘straight’ identity in my junior year of high school but brushed it off because I was and still am pretty feminine. I constructed this image of what bi and gay women were like and I didn’t fit that mold. The only people I had told about my feelings for women were a few of my best friends who had come out to me as gay or bi. When I got to college I became more confident in my identity and eventually dated a girl. Even though things with her didn’t work out it made me realize I could really see a future with a woman as my partner. The biggest hurdle I’ve had to go through throughout the journey of my bi identity, though, has been telling my female friends. I always worry about how they’re going to react. I don’t want them to think I’m now going to be hitting on them or looking at them sexually. I don’t want to lose their friendship. Fortunately, the fear has been worse than the actual outcome. My female (and male) friends and family that I have told so far have been nothing but supportive. I know I am very lucky for this. In the future, though, if there is someone who looks at me differently and unfavorably after I tell them I’m bi, I know they aren’t meant to be in my life. My tip to anyone struggling with their identity is to meet other members of the LGBTQ+ community because it can really help you see that there’s nothing to be ashamed of. All that said, I’m proud of being bi!”
– Elizabeth (Spoken in Passing)
“I think being bisexual can be different from one person to another. For me, it means that I’m both attracted to boys and girls, that’s it. I could fall in love with both genders and have a relationship with either one. Now, don’t ask me which I prefer because I don’t have a preference but most importantly I don’t have to. The truth is I’ve only been in love (and in a ‘real’ relationship) once. With a girl. So how can I say that I’m bisexual and not lesbian you’re already asking? Well, how do you (heterosexuals) know you’re only attracted to only boys or girls when you haven’t fallen in love once? See what I mean? It’s the same. You ‘just’ know. You feel the attraction towards a specific gender. And I have that attraction towards boys and girls. Meaning, I’ve got more chances to be in a relationship, yay!! Kidding, I’ve been single for a long time now haha.”
– Anaïs (Anaïs N)
“I truly think that discovering one’s sexuality is one of the most rewarding (and often complex) experiences we will go through as humans. It’s not something that’s set in stone, it’s constantly changing, and that’s what makes bisexuality so difficult to navigate. It took me eighteen years to finally accept my sexuality, and even now, I feel like I constantly have to justify myself to everyone around me. I grew up in a small-minded community, and the terms regarding sexuality I was exposed to were “gay” and “straight”. I know it sounds naive to say so, but it really didn’t occur to me until early high school that it was possible to be somewhere in the middle. If there’s one thing I could say to non-bisexuals, it would be that bisexuality doesn’t mean you “can’t decide”, or that you’re “stuck.” Bisexuality is a lovesome, valid element of my being, and like any other sexuality, it’s not a lifestyle or a choice. If anything, I feel like I get to have the best of both worlds as a bisexual woman- I’ve been able to share my life with so many beautiful bodies and beautiful souls.”
– Sarah (The Diplomat’s Digest)
“I’ve found that “bisexual” is my way of validating my previous relationships. My current partner is the first woman I have been with romantically. When we first got together there was a lot of discussion from everyone on whether or not I was a lesbian, or if I was just a straight girl fooling around. I’m a very feminine girly-girl; I’d only ever dated and discussed boys previously; I get it, I “look” straight. But I’m not. And while I’m not planning on ever dating anyone again, I feel the need to remind people that the relationships I had previously were solid and real. I wasn’t confused. I wasn’t unhappy. Those relationships made me who I am and I loved the men they were with. But now I am with a woman and I plan to stick with her. So for me, bisexual as become less of a label for sexuality and more of a defense – which really sucks! I didn’t pick any of my partners for what parts they have or how they identify. I chose them for who they were. If I had it my way the genders of my relationships wouldn’t be a discussion at all.”
– Raelee (Raelee Rowen – Patience & Practice)
Thank you for reading, and feel free to share your (loving) thoughts and own experiences in the comments.
If you are a member of the LGBTQ+ community and would like to participate in this series’ next post, send me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org or dm me on Instagram!
Lots of love,